Folding myself into a pretzel to achieve results in the minds and behavior of others is a recipe for suffering.
It’s impossible to connect with anyone by separating from myself. When I do that, what’s making it “work” is a false “me.” And there are few things more exhausting and painful than struggling to maintain a false “me.”
It’s also impossible to connect with anyone by trying to control or manipulate their behavior. When I do that, what’s making it “work” is a false “them” created by a false “me.” It’s a puppet show, not a relationship. And there are few things more painful than seeking love from a puppet. ...especially one that won’t do what I want.
All I’m doing when I interact with another person is giving myself something to love.
An identity that is stressful is a false identity.
Any interpretation of someone’s behavior that lacks generosity is untrue.
Anytime I try to make anyone feel ANY WAY I am failing them…and me.
Don’t manipulate the feelings of others.
I do not need to clear up anyone else’s story.
I do not need other people’s goals to align with mine.
I do not need people to be peaceful for me to be at peace with them.