People in the throes of hate are hating because they think they need to hate. They think they won’t be okay without it.
I know how it feels to believe I won’t be okay if I don’t hold onto something - like the side of a pool before I knew how to swim.
So if I want to reach someone in the grips of hate, I can orient myself to their need to be okay and approach them lovingly, the way I would a terrified child holding on for dear life to the side of a pool - not to threaten or shame or patronize or blackmail them, but just to be with them in love - a safe distance from their thrashing - until they finally recognize it’s okay to let go because they’re safe in my arms.
If I really want to be generous, I can let people feel however they do about me.
If I want to bring someone somewhere new, I have to meet them where they are.
Scaring scary people just makes them scarier.
Sometimes people may need to hate me to get through their hardships.
The only help anyone needs with their life choices is my love.