Would I rather...
...Be exactly the way I am and not be able to think there’s a problem?
...or...
...Be perfect and not able to think it’s enough?
Because those are my choices:
If my goal is “to be better than I am now,” I’ve set a goal that can never be achieved.
There’s always a “way I am now” that I will have to be better than.
In order to accomplish the task of “being better than I am now,” I have to get to the point that I believe I am better than I am now.
Impossible.
But even if I were to relax the standard to “being good enough,” in order to accomplish the task of “being good enough,” I have to get to the point that I believe I “am good enough.”
Believe I am good enough. It’s all about what I believe.
If someone tells me I am great and I believe I am truly falling short, there’s nothing they can do to change my mind. I’ll think they’re nuts…or confused…or kidding…or just trying to hurt my feelings.
If someone tells me I am terrible but I believe I am truly incredible, there’s nothing they can do to change my mind. I’ll think they’re nuts…or confused…or kidding…or just trying to hurt my feelings.
The goal has nothing to do with how I seem to others. It has everything to do with what I believe about myself.
The only thing that will allow me to believe I am good enough is ...to believe I am good enough.
When I believe I need to be better than I am now, I am operating from an inherent sense of lack. And what I do with a sense of lack is look for things to fill it: acceptance, power, distractions, food.
When I believe I am enough, I am whole, full. When I’m full it stands to reason that I will behave as if I’m full.
That’s it. That’s the work: to address what I think and believe.
So, back to the beginning:
Would I rather...
...Be exactly the way I am and not be able to think there’s a problem?
...or...
...Be perfect and not able to think it’s enough?
The choice is obvious.
And my experience is that, no matter where I am with it, there’s always more. I never get there because the goal - by design - is a rejection of what IS. It creates a never-ending loop and a constant source of emptiness, lack, stress.