Safe = Willing to accept any outcome.
Unsafe = Unwilling to accept certain outcomes.
(To “accept” something does not mean to “like,” “prefer” or “seek to sustain” it. It means to “coexist with it without suffering.”)
If I can accept any outcome, I am safe to do anything.
When I am sane and thinking clearly, I can accept any outcome. When I don’t think I can accept a particular outcome, I am not thinking clearly. So I can consider pausing and clearing up my thinking before taking action.
Actions taken with a confused mind just amplify my confusion, which is fine when it happens, because the truth is I can always accept any outcome, even when I don’t think I can. What outcome have I not accepted? Even the ones I still argue with, even the ones I avoid and run from and numb from and go to war with the world over - there they are and here I am.
I am always safe.
It’s just that when I don’t feel safe, my actions tend to amplify my sense of danger (I hide, I fight, I yell, I argue, I shut down, I scowl, I people-please, I abandon myself, I give other people power over me, I overcompensate…).
And when I feel safe my actions tend to amplify my sense of safety (I show up centered, I embrace, I listen, I consider, I engage, I wear kind looks, I represent my true nature, I am loving with myself, I express and experience oneness with others, I am balanced…).
So I can choose when to act and when to get still.
When I have something to say, I tell people I feel safe telling.
I do not tell people I do not feel safe telling... and I work to clear up my thinking.
When I have something to do, I proceed when I feel safe proceeding.
I do not proceed when I do not feel safe proceeding…and I work to clear up my thinking.
When I think I’m safe, I’m cleared to act.
When I think I’m not safe, it’s time to not act and clear up my thinking.