Whether or not I am traumatized by something is a function of whether or not I can bring myself to accept it. If I cannot accept it, I am traumatized.
There are no traumatizing events, only traumatizing thoughts and beliefs about events.
If I believe I cannot accept a past event, I will not be able to accept the idea of it ever happening again, and so I will fear for the future and destroy my present by scanning for - and finding - threats of more and more unacceptable events that MUST NOT not happen.
This becomes a vicious cycle that spirals downward. At the bottom of the spiral is PTSD (I speak from experience).
I find that when I believe I have perfect knowledge of what should and should not happen, I create a minefield of traumas for myself.
I also find that when I can let go of such rigid notions, my traumas dissolve and release me.
Healing from trauma is the process of finding acceptance. It’s where all trauma therapies are pointed. Toward making spiritual peace with the things that have happened.
Which doesn’t mean I prefer that they happen. And it doesn’t mean I don’t learn from experience. It just means that my mind and spirit are released from the constant debilitating vigilance against unacceptable events because I recognize that, however difficult the experience, I will ultimately find acceptance within.
And when I recognize that, the world opens up as a kind and caring place through which I can once again move freely.