Everything I’ve ever done that has brought anyone pain was done in an attempt to save myself from something. This includes things done on behalf of others. For me, the most misguided attempt to save myself has been to try to earn belonging - to be accepted by society, to earn the good opinion of others for myself or to earn God’s love.
If I want to stop war in my life, I think it’ll be necessary for me to free myself from the idea that I would ever need to save myself from anything.
In anything I’m doing or anything I’m deciding not to do, I can ask myself if there is anything I’m trying to save myself from. If I find that there is, I can question it.
I’m interested in what actions and impulses would arise without the thought that I would need to save myself from anything.
I imagine it would just be total connection. Just love, lived out.
No need to save myself from
rejection
sneers
rolling eyes
attacks on my motivations
embarrassment
poverty
hunger
physical pain
hate
captivity
abuse
loss of belonging
death
Can any of these things even happen to me if I don’t have the thought and believe it?
If they can, how would I confirm it?
I’d like to find a way to love anything that comes into my life as a gift from heaven (the way every one of these things has been for me so far to this point - all there to wake me up to the truth).
If I take “me” out of it, what’s left?