Every mistake I’ve ever made as a leader was done to make a better past or a better future.
Everything I’ve ever gotten right as a leader, I got right right then, in the moment.
I cannot fix anyone’s past or lead anyone to a better future. I can only offer them a peaceful now. And when they take it, their past and future seem to clear right up (but that is not my doing, it’s theirs).
So…
If I find myself in the role of
a leader
a teacher
an advisor
a coach
a host
a parent
a sibling
a partner
My first and only job is to love the person in front of me, right here and now. Always.
Even if the past is troubling (especially if it is).
Even if the future is scary (especially if it is).
To love the person in front of me - now. To make right now work between us.
Right. Now.
Just us.
Just this.
That’s the job.
Anything beyond that is an added bonus.
Anything short of that is a dereliction of duty.
Because I’ve made the mistake, I can be patient with those who are confused about their role as leaders.
When I’m sane, I remember that my first and only job in leading someone (particularly someone I might see as confused or struggling, or in any way getting it “wrong”), is to love them as they are, right now in this moment, to serve love and peace between us right now in this moment, completely independent of any past or future.
When I really understand this, I see that loving the person in front of me is also my job as…
a follower
a student
a client
a team member
a guest
a child